Nap Time Stand Off; A Poem

For this next lyrical sonnet, I was inspired by my kid just… being a butthole. (Just cuz you birthed them doesn’t mean they’re perfect.) I created this poem so our nap time battle royale wasn’t in vain.Without further ado, I present:

Nap Time Stand Off, A Poem

I know you are tired, so just take a nap

My last bit of sanity you’re starting to zap

you’ve never had trouble napping before

on a plane, on a train, on the couch or the floor

 

How do I get you to sleep? Your mommy is beat

Put whiskey in your juice then turn up the heat?

Well it works on your father every damn time 😉

(i’d go into more detail but it’ll mess up my rhyme)

 

If you ask to watch Peppa again I don’t know what I’ll do

I have visions of me hitting you with my shoe.

So here is your blanket and here is your cup

Now sit in your crib and shut the fuck up

 

I’m sorry i cussed but I’m losing my mind

The last bits of sanity? I now cannot find

 

Are you kidding me? Really? You’re asking for water

Here I’ll go get you some – ugh why do I bother?

You know what? I give up. God, this failure is big.

You win, little tyrant. Go watch Peppa The pig.

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