For this next lyrical sonnet, I was inspired by my kid just... being a butthole. (Just cuz you birthed them doesn't mean they're perfect.) I created this poem so our nap time battle royale wasn't in vain.Without further ado, I present: Nap Time Stand Off, A Poem I know you are tired, so just take a … Continue reading Nap Time Stand Off; A Poem
Dear Esteemed Doctor, Well, can you believe it? Here we are again, about to start our second pregnancy together. I regret to inform you, probably as much as you regret to hear, that it is your unhappy task of dealing with me for the next nine months. I think I know what I can expect … Continue reading A Letter to My OBGYN
At least 5 times a day I say to my toddler Mason, "ok there's no way you didn't just poop." At least 4 times a day I am completely wrong; my toddler is just a wind instrument. As a new-ish parent I am still learning valuable poop lessons, a trial by fire, if you will. … Continue reading The Shitty Laws of Parenting
Ah pregnancy - a magical time of bonding and lov- LIES! All I heard my whole life from my mother was how great the world was when she was pregnant with me. (She also told me in 10th grade I would love geometry: she was wrong about that too.) I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant with … Continue reading 6 Honest Things Nobody Tells You About Pregnancy
As moms we don't get to boast about our accomplishments enough. You kept the kids alive today; you're a boss-ass bitch. Don't you forget it.